Sooner or later anyone studying German as a foreign language will secretly agree with Mark Twain's famous statement...
"German books are easy enough to read when you hold them before the looking-glass or stand on your head - so as to reverse the construction - but I think that to learn to read and understand a German newspaper is a thing which must always remain an impossibility to a foreigner. [...]
'But when he, upon the street, the
(in-satin-and-silk-covered-now-very- unconstrained-after-the-newest-fashioned-
dressed) government counselor's wife met,‘ etc., etc. =
"Wenn er aber auf der Straße der in Sammt und Seide gehüllten jetzt sehr ungenirt nach der neuesten Mode gekleideten Regierungsräthin
begegnet."

Mark Twain: The Awful German Language in:

A Tramp Abroad (1880)

However, not to worry... as a native speaker of German I can construct elegant German sentences, the longer or the shorter variety, just as you wish, in all kinds of position, excluding standing on my head or in front of a "looking-glass". Working on a laptop is much to be preferred to working with one's lap on top. Says I, so call my bluff.

Samples

Prix Europa 2008

Lorenz Rollhäuser:
Mother's Shadow >>> text
Best European radio documentary
of the year 2008
Fiction
Richard Brautigan: >

Willard and His Bowling Trophies.
A Perverse Mystery
Andrew Gordon: >

Richard Brautigan's Parody of Arthur Miller
Richard Brautigan:
Dreaming of Babylon >>>
Sarah Challis:

On Dancing Hill >>>
Blackthorn Winter >

Alma Alexander:       >>
Jin Shei (fantasy novel)   >>>
Sharan Newman:    >>>
  vol. 1 Epiphany
vol. 2 The Devil's Door
vol. 3 Wandering Arm
vol. 4 Strong as Death
vol. 5 Cursed in the Blood
vol. 6 The Difficult Saint
Victoria Holt: Lilith >>>
Gerald Seymour:
Condition Black (thriller)   >>>
Bella Pollen:
Daydream Girl
Barbara D'Amato: Killer.app (thriller) >>>
Sarah Dessen: That Summer >>>
Adele Parks, Husbands
(Is One Ever Enough?)    >>>
Indian prose,
Mahasweta Devi >>>
Tony Ross Little Princess >>>

Rhymes & Poetry

Overview >>>

William Cowper
Apeiron
The Queen of Hearts and Tarts
Edward Lear: Owl & Pussy-Cat >>>

More Nonsense

The Common Cormorant or Shag
Indian poetry >>>
Shafi Shauq
Mamang Dai

Radio Drama
Apeiron 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

Non-Fiction
Mood Food >>>
Vivienne Westwood (biography) >>>
Operation Otter >>>
Colin Spencer's Vegetable Book, Garlic >>>
Leek                                       >>>
Papier Maché >>>
Mary Trewby
Simple or Classic Country Style >>>
Terrasplanten (from the Dutch) >>>
New Kitchen Garden >>>
Crystal & Gem    >>>
Elizabeth Wurtzel:
Prozac Nation (biography) >>>
Nativity Figures (from the Italian) >>>
Enamelling/Enameling    >>>
Biblical Times   >>>
Babel - Bible - Babylon >>>
Ancient Times >>>
Shells >>>
Tai Chi                   >>>
Julie Burchill
Diana (biography)         >>>

Natural Disasters >>>
Dougal Dixon's Dinosaurs 1 >>>
Dougal Dixon's Dinosaurs 2 >>>
Dinosaurs 3 >>>
Oceans
Knights and Castles            >>>
Environment                        >>>

Mark Twain: The Awful German Language in:

A Tramp Abroad (1880)

Since 1985
Translation - Copywriting - Editing

Traduttore - traditore?

Mark Twain: The Awful German Language in:

A Tramp Abroad (1880)

Since 1985 Translation - Copywriting - Editing

Traduttore - traditore?

Since 1985
Translation - Copywriting - Editing